


binary stars

by triviastar



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Death, I hate tags, Loneliness, Lost - Freeform, Open Ending, Stars, ambigious, im just projecting my feelings, loneliness is the theme i think, lonely, sad boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:08:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22507582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triviastar/pseuds/triviastar
Summary: "have i ever told you about binary stars?"taehyun thinks he might have, but he shakes his head anyways. he would listen again. over and over. every single time.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	binary stars

_ "taehyun-ah" ,he shuffled closer to the warmth, the touch, close but not yet touching. maybe they'll never be close, "have i ever told you about binary stars?"  _

_ taehyun thinks he might have, but he shakes his head anyways. he would listen again. over and over. every single time. _

_ "no tell me about them."  _

_ "binary stars are always together—"  _

if it had been a few hours back, taehyun thinks would have hastily put back the tape recorder back into the drawer, but it wasn't. instead the clock across the wall showed 2:20am and he could feel the cold seeping in through his thin cotton pants from the floor.

if it had been a few hours back he would have forced himself to go out for a walk and then get himself a warm dinner. 

if it had been a few hours back, taehyun wouldn't feel as raw and vulnerable as he was, bare against the cold and silence, clawing at his chest, going up  _ up up  _ until he drew a sharp breath and acknowledged it's dark looming presence. if it had been a few hours back, he wouldn't have acted against every cell of his body and press the play button of the recorder. 

_ "—they orbit around a common centre. or around each other." _

_ taehyun sat quietly, words caught at his throat not knowing if they should spill out or hide themselves back in. the wind picked up pace and a slight shiver crawled up his arms. the weather report had said that it would rain in three days, but maybe it was just early.  _

_ "do you think we're binary stars taehyun-ah?" _

_ taehyun blinked, blanking out for a split second not knowing if he heard right or if he was supposed to hear it at all. should he let the wind carry the words away, to places they would remain untouched and untainted, or should he catch it and bury it deep inside his soul till it stains his bloodstream and find the answer.  _

_ "do you?" ,a little louder. meant to be heard.  _

_ "i don't know beomgyu. are we? stars, i mean. they're pretty from here, but they're across light-years burning and folding into itself and sinking and dying. do you want to become a star beomgyu?"  _

_ taehyun, later would wish he had never asked that because in a few months the silence came back to haunt him.  _

  
  


the recorded clicks and then stops. it was a rather badly made cover of "lost stars" by beomgyu and him a few summers back in his room, not the one he was in right now. taehyun tries to pinpoint the moment everything went wrong— but actually there wasn't any. it was gradual. no large meteor came and knocked beomgyu away from his orbit, instead everything felt like a plan. an intervention. how beomgyu had slowly seeped through the cracks and settled there, how he fell into a rhythm, picked up his own pace in his orbit around taehyun, how he slowly came closer and closer, letting taehyun resist until he could no longer and fall right into it just like the other wished. and just like that, beomgyu had also slipped away from their intertwined orbits. pulled himself back leaving the cracks deeper than they were before, bare and ugly for the world to gape at and pity him. 

  
  


_ "would you run away if you could?" ,it was getting dark outside and taehyun squinted to see the words on the page, using the last of the daylight before he was forced to get up and turn on the lights. it was a habit — how beomgyu waited for a hush to settle and then, he would ask a question, whisper it almost, and wait for answers from him.  _

_ "from?" ,the words in front of him made no sense anymore until he realised he had been reading the same line for the third time now. _

_ "this. everything. i don't know. this city?" ,taehyun sat straighter. there's a lot he would like a run from— the city could be a starting point. he would like to run away from the black hole that felt nearer and nearer every passing day, he would like to run away from the body he inhibited the cracks becoming larger and larger threatening to consume him, but mostly he would like to run away from the other boy right now. how he looked at him, like a dying star. taehyun thinks, if they were binary stars, in the moment he would have clearly felt the shift, the balance tilted off as he slipped away slowly.  _

_ "run away to where? i don't know beomgyu i'm scared of new places." ,the answer felt wrong. truth be told, taehyun thinks he could run away with beomgyu anywhere he wanted— but where would he go when beomgyu ran away without him?  _

in the grand scheme of things, taehyun believes beomgyu was something akin to a summer dream, leaving behind the lingering touches of old films, dusty rooms and untouched sticky notes. beomgyu was close to the hollow gaping emptiness right in the centre of his heart, a flower withering in winter given up on survival, and maybe  _ maybe  _ that's better because now he gets to be a star. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is,,,,, my first txt au. it's literally just word vomit. a lot of it is very ambigious and there is no clear plot or sense but i think that's what it actually is — loneliness is a little like that, blurry, out of focus. im sorry if i wasted your time. n e ways i hope you always have someone and don't have to feel sad and lonely. love you.


End file.
